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October

by Lily Porter Wright

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1.
Bloodstream 00:43
2.
Enter 02:34
service dead and home is lifeless and I become a halfhearted delightist I'm pulling closest the shadows of vices cutting my hands from holding them tightest I love the time of night when the lights turn on pushing myself over to one side so I can make perception the center I can hide the feeling of splinters I’m not ready for mild winters I love the time of night when the lights turn on I love the time of night when what’s in my head is gone I love the time of night when the lights turn on I love the time of night when what’s in my head is gone allowing myself over to one side so others can overtake center pushing enter I’m leaving some spaces I’m not racing to take on the center pushing enter putting together I love the weather at this time of night I’m holding tightest the city is lifeless I love the weather at this time of night
3.
EZ 03:13
Ellen, I am out tonight 37 Fahrenheit There’s open windows in my mind I know I should apologize for Ellen, do you remember when It snowed on Halloween? You cried cause you got nothing And I said we don’t need anything We were kids some other time The playground or the summertime October was another life cause We were never kids that night and I keep remembering More than was really happening I know you don’t need anything from me, you don’t need anything Why would I be lying to you? I am trying, too I am trying Why would I be lying to you? I swear it’s true And I’m leaving soon Ellen, do you remember when I broke your arm in a pillow fight I think of it when I sleep at night Same bed where I made you cry Ellen, do you remember when It flashed before your eyes we would end up here someday and I might tell the truth this time I wish I didn’t lie to you But it’s easy to It’s so easy I wish I didn’t lie to you But it’s easy to It’s so easy I wish I didn’t lie to you But it’s easy to It’s so easy I wish I didn’t lie to you I swear it’s true And I’m leaving
4.
Bones 02:25
look at me, into my eyes you hypnotize it away again look at me, tell me the worst thing in the fewest words you can I’ll do my best to take it in, and not think about where you’ve been down the road the cars glow down the hole with the bones Halloween in the park alone Halloween in the park alone go away, into the night you sacrifice something innocent go away, cover your eyes with a mask, the lies make the illusion I’ll do my best to take it in, and not think about where you’re going down the end of the road down the path with no phone Halloween in the park alone Halloween in the park alone
5.
138 03:22
I’m on the wrong side of the road Tracing power lines until I get home I’m feeling like somehow this is already a memory hiding in the back of the SUV hiding in the space cut out for me hiding in the space cut out for me Stuck in the walls of the zip code I have to be home before the sun goes I’m feeling like somehow There’s more meaning in the dusk And there’s beauty to the gravel and weeds, salt and rust I unravel cause all my strings are cut I unravel cause all my strings are cut This is the worst time This is the last time It won’t be like last time I don’t like the passing of time This is the best time This is the last time It won’t be like last time I don’t like the passing of time it passes through me as the autumn does leaves on the street I gotta catch the bus finally somehow the sound of the wind puts me to sleep and I’ll know when I wake up exactly where in time I’ll be I’ll be I’ll be I’ll be So tired my dreams turn to memories (hiding in the space cut out for me) So tired my dreams turn to memories (hiding in the space cut out for me)
6.
Decisions 03:21
I call you on a Sunday morning Are you still awake every night? Toss and turn til you turn on the light? The right decision is the one that allows you To put the decision to bed And hold the covers over its head I still don’t know if it’s dead Because here I am calling again Your house has a temperamental lock and key We don’t know where you put the spare I call and say I’ll be right there The right decision is the one that allows you To lock the decision away Never let it see the light of day But now I think it might have escaped And I’m on my way Running into the store you run into me can’t avoid a heart attack I say you never texted back The right decision is the one that allows you To put a knife to its neck Allow yourself to forget That it was ever in your head That it was ever in your head And I’m on my way And I’m on my way to you I’m on my way I’m on my way to you
7.
City (Demo) 03:55
collapse me honey break the bones that tense me up collect me honey kill the thing that makes me stop before I’m done now we are done it reanimates me puts the blood under my skin I allow it to wake me repair me from within the light is dim and we are done don’t know if I’m over it but it’s over now might not work out but it’ll work somehow how do you love like that? doesn’t it make you so sad? I loved you just like that I just love a person like that how do I love a city like that? don’t know how it got so bad I love this city like that can’t leave this city like that erase me make some friends that you like more replace me honey I’ll be silent as I board the 92 cause I miss you I feel it shaking the city holds me now the way you used to the arms becoming exit ramps in the blue and I miss you don’t know if I’m over it but it’s over now it might not work but it’ll work somehow how did I manage that? shouldn’t it have made me sad? I loved a person like that I loved a person like that and I love the city like that don’t know how it got so bad I love this city like that I love this city like that

credits

released October 23, 2020

Ben Stewart (tetrapod): banjo on track 4, electric slide guitar track 5, listening ears all round

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Lily Porter Wright Providence, Rhode Island

Rhode Island-based singer-songwriter

photo by Anne-Marie Kildron

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